i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
