This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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