your thong is hanging out like whoa
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize