I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
