I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
