Pants 0. Shit 1.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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