Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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