I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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