And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
