12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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