Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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