she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
