I hate your face
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
