is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize