You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
