I love watching others lives come down to our level.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
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Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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