Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
