Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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