So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
