You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
