i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
