Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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