and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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