I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
