does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
