I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
