I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
