if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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