the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got inside last night via doggy door
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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