he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
