I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
