he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
