Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
