Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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