I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
