well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize