i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
