I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
