I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
