Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
