am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
