It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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