11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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