you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sext me about skeletons
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize