Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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