The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
