Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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