when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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