You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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