Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
