Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
