He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
