she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
