I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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