Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
