Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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