You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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