ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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