I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
one might say we're banned from that church
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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