Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
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Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
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I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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