wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
