I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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