I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
