I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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